Big spiders. Horror movies. What other people think. War. Trump. Identity theft. Home invasion. Failure. Clowns. Russian nesting dolls.
Everybody has things they’re afraid of.
Since Cassie’s diagnosis, we’ve picked a word or a theme for our year. Last year it was “A Year of Wow and Wonder.” This year we’re considering Fearless or Fear Less.
Fear can get in the way of living life. And, when one has limited time you don’t want any more obstacles. Yet we can all think of instances when fear prevented us from experiencing something that could have been amazing and we wind up missing things because we couldn’t overcome our insecurities or anxiety.
Facing a terminal illness can be very scary. Fear of pain. Of side effects from medications. Bad scan results. Good scan results because then you know the bad results are just around the corner. Fear of not being able to do the things you want because of your illness. Fear of dying. Fear of being the one left behind.
While it might be unrealistic to put aside all of these fears, as a couple we can agree to try and “fear less” together. We won’t let fear take over our days or drive our decision making. We will jump into this life with cancer with both feet. To live our lives to the fullest and not wait to have experiences or embark on adventures because of fear. Even fearing less won’t be that easy. We used to look at each other when we were scared and say “everything is going to be OK.” Now, that formerly comforting phrase rings hollow but we can still try to be less scared, less owned by fear, today.
Living without fear may be impossible but fearing even a little bit less feels more doable. So that’s our plan. What’s yours?
