When Cassie first tried on the back brace that she now has to wear she burst into tears. When Dan had to put the brace onto her for the first time he hyperventilated, broke into a sweat and had to take multiple breaks. Neither of us could imagine doing this for eight weeks (or God forbid possibly up to six months which we have now discovered is a possibility). On top of Cassie’s Metastatic Breast Cancer it was just too hard. Too uncomfortable. Too much to learn. Too difficult to adjust to. Too scary. Too unknown.
Jump forward to yesterday when Cassie said: “I have hope for next year. I think 2021 is going to be a more hopeful year. A better year.” She went on to suggest that we set some goals as a couple for next year and for each of us individually as well. She said she might even share her personal goals with Dan.
We will leave the sharing of our couple’s goals for another day (after we actually know what they are) but for today we find ourselves grateful for the gifts of adaptability and resiliency. The brace is as uncomfortable as ever but it now comes on without tears or hyperventilating. We are learning what we can and can’t do. We are tailoring our days differently. We are even figuring out how to nap with the damn thing.
We are adapting and that gives us hope.
