Birthday Gratitude

Today I celebrate my sixth birthday since Cassie’s Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis. On previous post-MBC birthdays, I’ve written about how all celebrations feel a little strange and different to us. That’s still the case, but right now Cassie and I are trying to avoid giving cancer any more energy than we absolutely have to. So, with that in mind, I thought I’d simply share some things that I am especially grateful for on this birthday.

• Cassie. Cassie’s being alive. Cassie’s love. Cassie’s courage. Cassie’s laughter. The twinkle in Cassie’s blue eyes when I drive her crazy. Everything Cassie. Full stop.
• My friends
• Nieces and nephews who make me laugh even though they don’t laugh at my jokes
• In-laws who are rocks for both Cassie and me
• My brothers who inspire me
• Couples Retreat (more on that soon)
• Our new home and neighborhood
• Only Murder’s in the Building Season III
• Stillness
• Morning Diet Coke(s)
• My New Ancestors group
• Delicious food.
• Jack Smith, Letitia James and Fani Willis
• Magic
• The latest Red Rising novel
• Ken Jennings as solo host of Jeopardy
• The Bears for giving me my Sunday afternoons back
• All Saints and Hazel’s Northeast 
• Daily check-ins with Seth
• The Enneagram
• Good wine
• Doc the dog
• Jack’s Caregiver Coalition
• Coaching and having an amazing coach
• Mine and Cassie’s enduring love. 25 years and still newlyweds!

Yes, things are still hard. And yes I am still scared. But I am learning and re-learning all the time that gratitude can sit aside my grief and that there are so many things that I am grateful for every day. Thanks to all of you who make my life better.